Wives: 10 Reasons to Forgive Him

A Read For Every Married Woman

My grandparents were married for 50+ years. I once asked my grandmother how she stayed married to my grandfather all that time, she said very plainly, “Divorce was never an option.”

I always felt bad for her. I took her statement to mean that she was trapped inside an institution in a cultural time where divorce just wasn’t accepted. I thought she was avoiding the social or public ridicule she would endure and so she just chose the more socially acceptable alternative; be married and miserable. Then I got married myself and have been for 14 years. I know that seriously making the decision to be committed to one person the rest of your life is really huge and not taken lightly (All Las Vegas weddings done by Elvis impersonators aside)

So what’s the one thing, whether you are culturally compelled or personally convicted, that keeps a marriage charging along? It cannot be fear or social pressure. When the options are all taken away by choice or expectation, you have to find some other way to make it all work. In my experience, the best way is forgiveness. Why? Because my marriage wouldn’t be together, let alone happy if my wife hadn’t forgiven me multiple times for minorly and monumentally stupid things I have done. Wives, Here’s ten reasons to forgive your husband:

  1. Men are not stereotypically insensitive, we just don’t seem to always care about the things you care about. For that we are sorry.

  2. We have this problem with needing to feel accepted, so your little “suggestions” are sometimes taken as critiques and rejections of our competence.

  3. Most men are territorial, it helps us with the basic ways we love. So the guy who crosses a line you don’t see is not welcome because we know he knows better.

  4. Being able to provide for our families is a big deal for most men. So if you make more money, work more outside the home and we are okay with it, that’s a sign that we respect and value what you do.

  5. Statistics say that one of the reasons men get married is for guaranteed access to physical intimacy. Forgive us for this expectation, but understand we chose you to have this close relationship with FOR-EV-ER.

  6. Men’s minds are really a fantastically organized computing machines, always thinking, very rarely at rest, just like yours. Sometimes our minds are working louder than your voice. Sorry.

  7. When we see something/someone that we deem beautiful, WE CAN’T NOT LOOK. Granted we don’t have to visually dwell, but we have to glance. Why do you think he stares at you all the time?

  8. (Along with #7) Men’s minds are typically visual hard drives for images we dwell upon. So the more we dwell visually upon you, the more hard drive space you get.

  9. Men equate respect and love. In fact, statistics say that if we had to choose we would rather feel respected than loved. So while disrespecting us definitely gets a reaction, it increases our emotional distance from you.

  10. However it looks. Whatever we did. Whenever it happens. We didn’t do it intentionally and most likely didn’t mean to hurt you. We need a pass. Actually lots of them.

This list isn’t exhaustive. It comes from my experience and limited education that I have received from being happily married to a woman who, thankfully, forgives me everyday.

Some of the incites in this top 10 were gained from Shaunti Feldhahn’s book For Women Only


About jasonwtriplett

Passionate Family Man - Honest Communicator - Direct Questioner - Involved Dad

Posted on July 6, 2011, in Husbands, Wives. Bookmark the permalink. Comments Off on Wives: 10 Reasons to Forgive Him.

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